I discovered that writing in my journal, putting down in words all my memories of the times I had with David was in a strange way cathartic, helping me to heal and get out all the feelings, thoughts, emotions, and dreams that I had inside me.So I wrote and told my journal all about life with David. I described in minute detail all the parties, the sex, every nasty element of the things he would do to me and how it made me feel. I missed him a lot, but each time I looked at my beautiful son, I knew I had made the right decision.The two things I missed most about my relationship with David were belonging to someone and the sex we had. I very much missed the feeling I had when I was with David, the feeling of belonging to him, of being owned by him. It gave me security and comfort that nothing else ever had. Sure I was part of my family, but that was just it - I was part of the family. With David, I WAS his family. I was everything to him and him to me. He didn't have a family - at. I was terrified at the thought of what was about to happen, knowing Icouldn't stop it if I tried now. However, I was also shaking withexcitement and arousal, unable to wait to get fucked for the first time,just like I'd fantasized about so many times before while playing withdildos.Fortunately, he applied a generous amount of the strawberry lube to hiscock and pushed a couple of fingers into my ass to lube it up as well.With his left hand on my waist and his right hand on holding his cocksteady, he moved up behind me and started rubbing it up and down mycrack and occasionally pushing it slightly against my asshole. Thepushing became more pronounced until he was definitely going to push allthe way in. As gruff and demanding as he'd been to me to this point, hewas surprisingly gentle as he eased his cock in for the first time.Since I'd had the plug in for such an extended period of timepreviously, I was able to accommodate him without too much pain. Therewas definitely some pain, just.
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